The 5 powers we all have on social media

For those asking about how to deal with social media, who or what to follow, what and how to publish, here a slightly longer article to give a different view on social media, and on the 5 powers we all have on facebook, instagram, linkedin, etc.

In this new time of crisis and coronavirus we all spend more time online and on social media. This is becoming our reality today and it is here to stay. How do we make sure we use this time efficiently?

Social distancing, and social media. The words we use the most right now…
To start with, the physical distancing is not social distancing.

How do I know that? Because of the deeper connections I experience every single day online, as I doing the world tour every day. Literally every day from Kenya to Russia, from Japan to USA, from Dubai to Australia, name it, I am blessed to connect with clients, friends, partners every single day. Deep, meaningful, and beautiful connections.
I am forever grateful not to the coronavirus in itself as I am aware of the tragedy linked to it, but for the consequences and these amazing times that offered to me. I love that in one of the talks I was having when someone mentioned the coronavirus is not a disaster it is a virus. The consequences of it could be a disaster. As I’m not a science person I cannot argue or express on the virus itself, yet one of the things that made me reflect about it is the tragedy of deaths and the celebration of life that happen in the same time. Almost like a reminder of what life is all about, about our own mortality, about our own time on earth, about our own decisions, about our own life experience, and about our own power.

We don’t know much, and yet we can do so much.
We may not know how and what created or spread the virus, and at the same time maybe we don’t need to know. I mean I trust the scientists, the virologists, the doctors will assess that, and they will gather the answers and the actions to follow. What I mean by not needing to know, is that without a clear knowledge in virology I will not become an expert overnight, so I’ll have/chose to trust the experts. In the same way I don’t know how the TV works and I can still enjoy watching it. I don’t need to know everything to have a beautiful life experience. And I choose to trust others that are experts in their fields as this is how the humanity evolves.
Besides, me trying to understand by myself will take a long time in absence of specific skills, competences, knowledge a science person has. Secondly it will not necessarily bring the right answers, or answers that are strong enough to be relevant. Finally, it will just take me away from other things that I may know how to do, where I have more skills and experience and to put my entire effort in area I could contribute more and have more relevance. The beauty of interdependence is that seeing the planet as a group of individuals, we can specialize within the group so we can have different knowledge and each of us to contribute to a higher humanity knowledge.
Moreover, as I may not have the relevant skills and information, all that may happen is for me to be or feel overwhelmed and therefore a feeling of losing control, which goes into panic and so forth. And panic is what will take away from my own capability of taking decision and of acting and growing.
Learning how to think, learning how to understand and translate information, being able to create an opinion and a thinking process based on relevant information, relevant questions, that is what may need to happen.
Now what is the main issue here? Why people are not trusting what they see or hear
First: in an area of available, easy to access and free information there is not more discipline of research, people want to have answers fast and therefore they go on Google for anything. And while I am sooo grateful for Google to make available tons of information, there is an issue with the quality of information available. The problem is not that the information that there is not accurate exists, the problem is that we are not trained nor patient enough to check and pick what may be relevant.
Second is that one of the most beautiful and needed profession is dying nowadays. I refer to journalism, journalism is technically a way of presenting facts in an objective way so people can have access to information. Journalism nowadays becomes personal opinions, scandal sells, and whatever a celebrity eats seems much more relevant than real society issues. A journalist nowadays shows the side of the story he/she believes in, in the best of the case, or the one that sells in most of the cases. A journalist nowadays will come fast with a story, without taking months and months of documentation and research and inquiry on a topic. That’s one of the saddest things today. And of course, this is not for every journalist yet those high professional ones tend to be more the exception than the norm.
Thirdly, we are or technically can be social medial all of us. Each of us can be his own television, his own editing company, his own radio station, his own newspaper.
• I can publish my own book on amazon, no matter how relevant that content is or not (editing house)
• I can do my own podcast, and say whatever I want no matter how relevant it is or not (radio station)
• I can do my own youtube channel no matter how relevant it is or not (television station)
• I can write and publish articles on my own blog in whatever topics no matter the knowledge I have or not (newspaper)
And that can be accessed by anyone. Anyone can see my tv station, listen to my radio station, read my newspaper, and my books. Anyone, no matter where they are in the world. That gives so much power when we think about it. All it takes is the right level of marketing, and knowledge on how to make people click on it.
Now while that is amazing and in so many ways, a treasure in itself, it is also one of the most dangerous things in the current context:
• It is enough to know how to do it and it can be used in a very dangerous way
• Even when it starts with a good heart and good intention, the information could not only be absolutely wrong but also having a very bad influence on people
• Most people not only don’t take time to assess but they don’t even know how to do it. Because we no longer teach kids ethics or philosophy or debates, or rhetoric etc etc. We no longer help people developing their own thinking ability. Questioning, doubting, looking for more information before reaching a conclusion or an opinion. And evolve those opinions after.
• Most people think that if they have a sad story and they manage to overcome it, it will be the same for anyone who will copy paste their experience. Which is far for being the truth.
• Most people think that applying a solution which has somehow provided a level of results for themselves will provide the same for others. Which is obviously not working.
• Most people will just be led by their own ego and showing off, versus taking a step back and ask what is the relevance of what am I saying and for whom.
How do I know all these? Is because I spend my life talking with people who want to grow and succeed. And who have read a lot and who have tried a lot, and they are still not there. Why, because if it was working we all would have been happy and wealthy and successful. And the majority of people are not.
Social media today is not necessary having the role it could have. And we are all responsible for it.
Of course a lot of things are happening now online. And I could not be more grateful for it. But how responsible are we for what we publish. And even for what or who we follow.
One of my dearest friends Shen Lim, who is a co-founder of Cool Japon TV is talking about the 4 profiles we could have on social media: the follower, the expert, the influencer and the business influencer. And is nothing wrong to be in any of these cases. Or to have a different profile depending on different parts of our life. But that is for another post.
Basically and without caricaturizing too much, most people will be followers, they have a social media account and go on social media to follow other people. They just get the information, hours and hours on Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, Tik Tok whatever. To a point where now they realize it is even toxic as they don’t even know what happen with their time. While others are alive and living most people are just following the life of a handful of people on social media. With all the consequences that follows. The expert is the one that goes on social media and assess different channels and information trying to understand more and have more perspectives on what is happening there instead of taking for granted everything. They will probably be more selective in terms of who they follow. After we have an influencer, which means someone who has a community, an influencer is someone who has followers and who puts content over there more or less systematically. Now the things is that those that are influencers are not necessary those who have the knowledge or things to share (and I am not saying they are all like this) just those who understand how the system works and take advantage of it. Those who want followers and likes. The more the better. No matter why, no matter the purpose. And after we have the business influencers those who have a system, who put a lot of content in a very systematic way. Usually the people who understood how to use social media to monetize it, like a business, but overall who have enough content to create a trend, a direction. And I have to say some are doing a great job, Gary Vee being one of them for example.
Now why is that dangerous and what is the point of this article.
The danger comes from overall a lack of discernment. Instead of using information to grow our brains, we use less our brains when on social media and therefore reducing its function over all. The same we overuse our emotions, we generally connect from the loneliness of our own screen, and compare. And believe what is said as the ultimate truth, we believe that they, the others all have an amazing life, and love, and joy and happiness, and we are the only one left out. A lot of depression, and deeper mental disorder may result or some even proves it happens already. But overall is a source of sadness as people no longer make the effort of connection, while this is how the social media started. And then it goes into a lack of actions, a lack of going outside and watch the sky, instead of watching a picture of the sunset someone posted. A danger of not meeting someone because is more comfortable and safe to meet them from afar. Etc etc
Now while I write this we are still in lockdown and I am very much aware that not everything is possible now. And this is exactly my point. The danger is what the social media is or can became tomorrow out of fear, after overdoing it for 2 months or so. And in the same time what an amazing beautiful powerful opportunity we all have here.
The coronavirus imposed physical distancing and an increase usage of media, online, etc. that was what most probably saved the most of us, and I am forever grateful. It is today my bread and butter in so many ways.

And I want to encourage all of us to take that power. And to be responsible. And to grow together in this new era of social media and online. And while the online and virtual space will continue to increase, to also make the effort when the lockdown ends to not stay by default in your own media cocoon. And dare to go outside… But that’s for another article.

And if you wonder how to increase your power, let me share with you the 5 powers of social media and why this is in your hands today
1. The power of authenticity: we all want to be successful on social media, I get it, and it’s respectful and understandable. The reality is we all have a huge responsibility while being on media. And there is no secret, the more authentic we are, the more successful we are, including on social media; we don’t have to be more of someone else to get that, all we need to do is to be more of ourselves in that space as well. Think about of a day to day situation, you’ll finally get the ones that are lying or pretending and you want to stay away from them. It is the same on social media. Take a little bit of distance: who do you follow and why,… and whatever you put out there, be yourself and the your tribe will see it. You don’t have to be in a specific way to have or win friends. It’s by being yourself that friends will come.
2. The power of persistence: like everything in life it takes time to build any relation. And social media is a relation. There is nothing that happens over night with no effort, and if it does go viral chances are it disappears as fast as it came. The persistence means you showing up, authentically no matter what. No matter if you are sick, no matter if you are sad, no matter if you have issues, no matter what. Because on social media just like in life this is what happens. We are sick or sad or down and we still go to work, and we still live, and we still do things. So the same in social media, including sharing when you have a bad day instead of putting a fake content about how great all things are, or not even putting a content because you no longer have the energy. The persistence is doing it for yourself and for your followers, even if those come in small or very small numbers. Persistence means you believe in what you are doing. And believing in what you want is the first step to achieving it.
3. The power of sharing: I so love when people share. I guess it was one of the core values I got from my family and from growing up in not the wealthiest country or environment and I speak a lot about it. I am grateful I was born there. Is the value of sharing that anyone finds in these types of societies? And when you go to social media, this is exactly the same. Sharing! Think back of the power of sharing. What do you share? Do you share what you have extra, do you share what is the less quality? What do you share in your social media and why is the same with what do you share in life… There is this saying that rich people give and poor people share. Are you sharing to show off, or are you sharing because you care, because of who you are and what you stand for. I can go for ages on this one, hope you got the point
4. The power of caring : that’s one of the daily reflection I have form my dear teacher Geshe Tenzin Damchoe. He is asking is caring a sharing or is sharing a caring?Caring means that it is not just a technical action, you push a key on a phone or computer, anonymously from the safety of your home. Detaching like we are not humans, like robots instead of we just use a machine, a tool. Caring means connecting back to us humans using this tool, using this machine. Caring means paying attention, taking time, going deeper. Caring on social media means reflecting twice between hitting a like button, caring means taking time to leave a comment, when you have something to say, and add, and most of us we do have after reflecting on it. Caring means contributing. Caring means take time to share and say publicly thank you to someone who did something for you and you benefit from it. Caring means giving credit. It does not take anything away from us, is actually quite the contrary. And it is even working from an algorithm point of view.
5. The power of detachment : probably one of the most important power we all have. This means to not post in order to be obsessed by views and likes. To switch off social media, to not make it our life. And to not be attached tothe result of it. Doing it authentically, persistently, and things will happen. Enjoy the journey without worrying about the result, be a responsible leader, contributor, and human in your life and in social media; that’s not another space that is our space, and our reality. It is not virtual, it is real even more real than ever today.

I trust we can all make a difference. And I thank you for taking the steps towards it. When we know better we do better. That is all. When we think back on why social media started, and life in general, we see there is a different more responsible and beautiful way of living and a richer life experience, let’s celebrate social media by using and experiencing it as much as we do with life, going back to the basics, going back to the core values, and deep connections.

Life and business in time of Coronavirus. 5 hidden opportunities.

This morning I was thinking of all the new crisis generated by the Coronavirus and the related outcome in many areas of life and business.

And thought of this question: do you know of any emergency, difficult situation, unexpected stuff, or even a crisis, popping up at a convenient time?

Most of the time things just happen; even the most relevant experts are not always ready or prepared to see and predict all of the things coming up. And of course some of the things are more anticipated than others, and the world is more prepared. Yet overall it is not necessary about how well we anticipate a specific crisis that is probable to happen, but how do we keep ourselves prepared for whatever happens and how do we react when things don’t go as planned or the unexpected pops up, out of nowhere.

The current crisis is a result of a virus, that is dangerous enough for governments all over the world to take very drastic measures. Now, I am not a doctor nor a medical expert so I will not comment about how dangerous this is or is not, what the death rate is or why this shall be more serious than a season cold epidemic. I will just trust the experts in the sense that something may shift into the near future to create a bigger crisis and that prevention is always the best.

This being said, it still remains the situation as it is right now. In most countries we see not necessary a lot of death cases as a result of this virus, at least not at the time I am writing this, non the less there is a lot of impact on overall life and business. Schools getting closed which create an issue for parents, and finding solution for kids. Meetings and events rescheduled, which create a big issue for people who have been organizing those for months sometimes. A big list of ongoing projects on hold because this may not be the best time to move forward in time of uncertainty. And definitely much less travels which makes the airline and travel companies all over the world being the sector that would suffer the most in a first phase.

Now this in itself could be enough to be concerned about. Yet there is a big difference between being concerned about something and being panicked or even worried about it.

The main difference if that in a state of panic or worry, the mind is not functioning at the best of its ability. That makes sense because when in panic the human mind freezes so instead of finding solutions it goes into creating more catastrophic scenarios to add to the panic. And giving a change we all would love to tap into our full potential when expose to a crisis isn’t it.

As I usually explain there are 2 type of fears, one that is helping us survive which is exposing a sense of danger that pushes our brain to find a quick solution and react, and one that is slowly killing us. The first one appears when the danger is real, like a fire starts next to you, or someone is holding a gun to your head or similar. In that case you may find that running away is saving you for example. Stay with me on that one, I am not saying what is the best idea I am just saying that the mind will immediately come up with something to fight the danger. In a second case is the fear of a fire that will start in your home right now. No matter the probability for that to happen you may know people living in that fear of a fire starting in their home, or an earthquake or something similar. Now, the point is not to say how ridiculous that could be, but to explain a fact: to those people (and btw we all have our own “fire” fears expressed in our own ways) any logical approach will not help. They will act or be overwhelmed by a fear they sense as real. Except that in those situations, as the danger is not imminent the brain does not know how to react to move you away from that fear. The only thing the brain does is to add more catastrophe scenarios and developed even a higher fear, and that can go into panic attacks, or more not to name here.

The entire purpose is that: while the first type of fear is helping us survive and the fear will go down as we move away from danger, the second one will not allow us to live, and it will increase no matter how much logical explanation we used for that.

Why is important to establish in which case of fears we are? Mainly in order to know what we are doing next. The key here is that the second type of fear, the one linked to what may happen, it will manifest prior for the danger to actually be produced. Have you noticed for example that we are afraid of let’s say an exam or a doctor appointment, a public speech, etc before we go, and as soon that starts we forget about the fear and we concentrate on what we have to do?

That is an important point in dealing with fears, and eventually worry, anxiety and panic attacks.

Why we speak so much about this, because in the case of coronavirus we see a lot of people worrying and getting anxious about it. Which is understandable considering most people are not necessarily worried about themselves but in addition they worry about their kids or their elderly parents that could be more at risk in such a situation.

Now like I used to say it for a while now, worrying about something has no effect on how that situation will unfold tomorrow. The only effect it has is on how ready we ‘ll be when or if that risk happens.

Ok, so let’s say you are worried, ok, it makes sense, so what, now what?

You see as soon you turn it into action you may realize there is more to do than just lie in a bed covered in anxiety and waiting for you to die, or for the coronavirus to contaminate you and your loved ones.

There are opportunities that show up. Why not reflecting on those for example? Someone will have to. Why not you?

When a crisis happens, the current models are challenged, and we talk not only about current business models, but also thinking models, ways of living, things that happen without us thinking of them, that have become natural or habits.

And it is not because they are ours and feel so natural that they are not to be challenged, reconsidered or that they are still relevant in today’s world.

The beauty of a crisis is that it forces us to see things differently. It pushes us into admitting that whatever it was working so far can not longer be applied in the same way. We can no longer play the ostrich, the crisis is here, something must change.

There are a few questions you may want to ask yourself to face the situation:

1. What is the opportunity here? Now, I do hear you, the situation is challenging what the heck she is taking about opportunity here. And when you have a deeper look, there are opportunities here and people already listed a few of them. The only difference is who can see them; is not the person who is in panic mode but those who are open and ready for something else. The biggest opportunity here is on an environmental side, with coronavirus already having such positive impact on the planet, to start with. The second is an opportunity to change the business model, like working remotely could take a different meaning from now on, and we could realize how much more we can do when we save time for travel for example. Or how much more productive we can be when focused on the task and not losing time in traffic, etc. The 3rd is the opportunity for the entire world to focus on a specific topic, adding a multitude of diverse minds focus on solving an unique problem; and how the world could collaborate without necessary going into never-ending meetings, and doing them based on videos conference and other media that are forcing people to be more focused and straight to the point. And I am sure each of you can come up with ideas linked to your own environment.

2. What is the panic or the anxiety adding to my life, or differently put how is this helping me? And if the answer is “nothing much, it does not help”, maybe this is the time to create a new projection for yourself. Why not creating a story that helps you instead of a horror movie that is freezing you. And that can also be created while writing or putting together a vision board of something that looks completely different than your fear today, something that you are excited to move into and experience.

3. What is your intuition telling you? When you go into time of crisis, you want to get as much aligned with yourself. In order to be aligned we use different type of messages. We have messages that are coming from our logics, messages that are coming from our emotions and messages that are coming from our intuition. Now what we aim for is to give all these messages space to be heard. When we overthink, we only hear the messages from our logic, when we are overwhelmed by fears or other emotions, we only hear those messages. It takes balance to give space to each logic and emotions to be heard and messages to be received and by doing so, allowing the intuition to come to you as well. We all know inside ourselves when we are at peace what are the things to take seriously and what are just exaggerated projection of our logic or our emotions.

Now, for those who are part of the millions of people who must already stay confined home and or have to change all their schedules, here are 5 things you may want to explore:

1. Providing you are with your kids or loved ones, why not enjoying it. When was last time you had time to just be with them all around you? What a joy to actually be there with them and have time to enjoy, right?

2. Providing you are by yourself, what an amazing opportunity to grow. In today’s world we always lack time. Now this is your time to learn something, or to rest, or to watch all the Netflix you want without feeling any guilt. I know some of you are now looking forward to have that time for themselves.

3. Providing you are a business owner, what a great moment to take that time away from your business, to have that helicopter view that is taking you away from day to day operations and allow you to see the bigger picture. And you also have some time to do that laser focus approach, to take a problem and think about solutions for 10 15 minutes. Asking yourself what is the root cause of it, and go deeper and deeper; there is a beauty in having time for this kind of exercises, when no calls or emails are coming in, because you may get answers that would be unavailable to you in a day to day situation.

4. Providing you are a consultant I think that is one of the greatest position to be right now, to assess the world and think of a different ways of doing business. Critical thinking, business design, are the areas where most businesses will need support, and this is almost the perfect time take out to allow us to think about solutions. The world will need a different way to do business and consultants (to use a general term) could be at the top of that different way of doing business; providing they will take time to think and challenge the existent instead of looking within today’s world to find solutions for a complete new situation. This is no longer a time to compare and look for best practice but more a time to assess and invent (like an internal disruptor) what could tomorrow solve the problems most businesses are facing today. You can definitely start by putting on a paper what are the challenges you, your clients or a business are facing today. When a problem is well structured a solution starts to be seen.

5. Providing you are a coach, people will need your more than ever. Take this opportunity to address topics that are needed for any of us, like what am I doing in this article, address fears, address building opportunities, address community when at distance and any topics that are helping people to see a different world out there; something to look forward to instead of something to be worried about. The world needs you and in a situation like this you as a coach have access to all the social media that is providing the means of communication to touch as many people possible.

Hope this is giving you a different perspective no matter where you are in the world and how the crisis is unfolding for you right now. Those who will survive will be those who will adapt faster to the new reality. Those who will see the opportunity instead of obstacles. Those who are using this time to reflect and find new ways of doing and being. Us as humans can go behind and above any situations, we just need to tap into this collective awareness and creativity and allow ourselves to create a new way of thinking. The great news is that we as an evolutive community created the current one, to begin with. So, we already know how to create a thinking model that works. And I can’t wait to see what this will bring to each of you.

Disrupt or be disrupted?

Providing you have 3 choices of companies a. Nokia/Kodak, b.Uber/Airbnb, c.Apple/Amazon, which one will you choose to run or even work for?

 

A common characteristic of businesses that are growing and are successful is that they start becoming very confident, looking much more on how to increase their profits than on how they can become sustainable on a long run. When we do not longer pay attention to the market and the way we do business someone else will do. The new comer will assess a business from the perspective existing clients’ needs and claims and they will bring up a new model that is fully responding to those needs. Even more, they will be “eyes-open” for those clients to highlight a pain-point not necessarily “visible” to them.

Instead of that any company could benefit from understanding what is that the clients are truly looking for, nor because the clients have no other choice on the market but because they get exactly what they want to begin with. As well as educating the clients with what new benefits they can get with an innovative service or product that company can/will launch.

In theory, it shall be easier for an existing company to 1. keep its clients when listening/responding to their needs and 2. drive the market higher, than for a new company to disrupt the market and take competitors’ clients. When a disruptor takes over though, it is a clear indication that the clients were not choosing the existing company due to their tremendous satisfaction level but out of habit or no other available choices.

An inside disruptive approach shall start by understanding market trends, and mostly customer complains. Both are important as we can disrupt the market either by providing new services/products either by first educating about new services/product thus giving clients more reason to keep choosing the existing company they work with.

That is even more true in today’s economy as it was never easier to add new online services, market almost for free on social media and get access to so much information.

Yet change is difficult; “why changing when we have always done this way and it is working?”; sometimes it is easier to keep pretending we are the best and the clients will follow. Multiple examples like Nokia or Kodak on one side or Uber and Airbnb on the other side show how much traditional successful companies can lose and how much new companies can disrupt and take over a market. At the opposite companies like Apple or Amazon who although “fairly young” and successful keep innovating every day to keep their clients happy.

Being fully focused on the day-to-day business operational, although perfectly normal, may lead sometimes to lose sight of the bigger picture and trends. It is always cheaper to invest with a consultant and have a larger view and understanding on what is happening than to react out to find a solution when a disruptor is already in the market.

At the end of the day, any company is totally responsible for its results and growth. They can blame the market and the competitors, they can be reactive or proactive. The way a company chooses to lead the change or to react to market changes is the main indicator of how long that company will be on the market for.

5 Ways to Fight This Bloody Cancer!

Do you sometimes feel you are losing control facing this illness?

 

CANCER!

How many of us get that feeling inside their stomach simply by hearing the word! And yet so many of us are affected by this bloody illness either directly either indirectly, having someone close to our heart: family, friends, loved one, affected by this!

The numbers are so high that it’s almost become ‘normal’. How many of us don’t know at least one person who is suffering from this disease or has someone in their family suffering from it … Feels sad but normal …

And yet when coming to routine it is difficult to accept that this is the route we are taking! Despite medical progress and good increase of life expectancy (at least 1 good thing of having so many cases occurring), there is nothing normal about this!

It gets me angry to know how widespread it has become, and how “normal” this may appear! And while I have the highest respect for medical professionals, research’s, their commitment, etc. it still gets me down the fact that there are so many ways to fight this and we still know so little about it! Not to mention that it just makes no sense to have no cure for this bloody cancer YET! There are ways to bring the number down, I am totally convinced about it, even if I don t have the miracle solution!

But, if like me you are one of those affected by this directly or indirectly here are 5 steps to fight it back:

 

  1. FORGET STATISTICS! The medical world despite huge progress is still at the infancy of what a human body is and how all these is working. There is much more unknown than known in this equation! Humanity is making huge steps forward in the scale of time (even 20 years back we knew so much little than today). Yet it’s a considerably small %. And when it comes to statistics it says as much as we already know, excluding best and worst scenario, and people not in statistics to begin with! So my first advice: stay away for those terrifying figures and discussion forums: even doctors may be wrong, and there is no one on this planet who can predict death in an accurate way!
  2. RESPECT YOUR BODY! Your body knows how to heal itself! Sometimes as difficult it may be to believe for us instructed and logical people, self-healing works! There are many ways to do this and again lots of sources on internet about it! It can go through meditation, visualising, hypnosis, just give it a real try[1]. And please by all means please do that while keeping the medical treatment on going!
  3. HAVE FAITH! The more I read about this illness the more I understand the power of our own brain! Trust your subconscious mind, it has amazing power![2] You have to believe and to stay positive. Either you are in that illness either you have a loved one affected, the best you can do for you and the others is to keep positive; worrying, stress it’s a source of illness, and has no value added to this process! Believing for real you are in good health and you are getting every day closer to your best health it’s working, as incredibly as it may seem!
  4. LIVE LIFE TO ITS FULLNESS! Enjoy life even when it’s tough, even when it feels so unfair! Just try to see the opportunity! No matter how hard may be to do so if you are in the middle of all these right now, have a look on your life, in the most honest way; when feeling so close to death, many things are coming clearer and lighter and somehow the real priorities are becoming evidence! Read about those incredible experiences of people getting off cancer, there are quite a few books and survivors writers out there! You’ll feel less alone and full of hope!
  5. BE CONNECTED TO THE UNIVERSE, the nature, the humanity! So use prayers, no matter your religion, no matter you don t have a religion, find the easiest and closest way for you to pray! Have a read of the amazing book the Healing Words[3], and when someone ask you what they can do for you or your ill loved one simply ask for a prayer! Or a positive thought sent to the universe! This is how energies are getting together! We are all so connected! If you have a chance read this great book The Celestine Prophecy[4], very beautiful and easy reading as well!

 

My heart and prayers go to all of you who have faced this bloody illness no matter where you stand today! Some of you may have lost their loved one and there are no words to reduce the pain you are feeling! I truly believe a quality life is more important than a long life! And that we have no clue what may came after! We may simply go to another level! But today, if you read this, it means you are alive, and that in itself is something big!

Miracles do happen every day! When we have our eyes and heart opened we do see miracles every single moment!

 

#pinkoctober #pink #cancer #breastcancer #survive

[1] http://www.chopra.com/ccl/7-affirmations-for-self-healing

[2] http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/68984.The_Power_of_Your_Subconscious_Mind

[3] http://www.amazon.fr/Healing-Words-Prayer-Practice-Medicine/dp/0062502522

[4] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Celestine_Prophecy

5 tips to deal with your gremlin

BERNARD BOURIGEAUD (21)

There are times in our lives when we feel down, like all the willingness we once had  has completely vanished. At times we feel completely down, incapable of moving, some of us completely paralyzed by fear; some so uncomfortable with their thought process that go into over doing, having the most busier life ever just to avoid to think; some of us just crying for hours.

All of these shall pass, we know it; and in some specific cases we forget; but in other cases it will not go away without a medical solution. I will not talk about that, I will talk about normal average healthy people who sometimes may just need to take their gremlin for a walk.

Gremlin, out of all the internal blockers this one is the most difficult to overcome. Why? Because they are so close to who we deeply are that sometimes feels the gremlin is us.

What is the so-called gremlin? We can give it different names, but  shortly it is the internal voice which is telling us we are not good enough, this is not for us, you don’t deserve this, etc. Now, we all have it,  some of us stronger than others, some of us able to hear more than others yet we all have it.

We may talk a lot about how this was developed and what is its role. Maybe to keep it short most of the time this is something we develop in  a specific difficult situation or similar repetitive experiences, which in the end made us feel unsafe, almost like in a survival mode. Sometimes it is a real surviving issue. And our gremlin is developed in those moments in order to overcome the danger and to protect ourselves. To keep it short it is easier/safer not to do something than to do it and risk to lose. That’s one of the mechanisms of gremlin.

When things go not as much as we expect them to go, most people will get affected. Feelings of betrayal, angry, sadness, lack of power, guilt, may be associated with gremlin. And then we may hear that internal voice, you are not good enough, this will never work out for you, what were you thinking, etc. The voice and the messages could be different and very specific for each of us.

While removing the gremlin or transforming it as we call the process in coaching may be extremely difficult to do on one’s own, and we always recommend to work with a certified coach on the process, identifying it is already a great step.

In terms of internal voice, sometimes it may be tough to make the difference between a gremlin and something else including the voice of intuition.

The faster way to identify it correctly is to look into what you feel. Feelings associated with fear, down, lack of power, guilt, they usually come from gremlin. The energy associated with it is extremely low, mostly we feel that there are no options, that no matter what we do, nothing will ever change. We sometimes feel we deserve not to be happy, accomplished, healthy and so on. At the opposite when intuition is talking to us we feel a sense of energy, excitement, and willingness to go further, to move mountains.

Now we may not be able to explain none of those voices, at least not at the first step and by ourselves, as it overpasses most of the time our own logic. It does not make sense why do we feel the way we feel.

Instead of challenging the WHY of what we feel, sometimes the best thing we can do is to welcome it. I know it is not the most comfortable guest. We tend to run away, to move from that thought, even to go do whatever  so we no longer feel it and we  no longer talk about it.

In time the gremlin not only could take over but it can destroy us. Whatever was protecting ourselves in a specific moment of our live, whatever was saving us, may prevent us from living now.

What if for a change we just take the gremlin for a walk. Here is what you may try out by yourself:

·      Literally go for a walk. And watch the sky, watch the trees, a specific leaf that is falling, hear the noise even the noise of car passing, or maybe you manage to hear a bird singing, breath as deep as you can, what is that you smell, focus on the steps that you take, how does it feel when you foot touches the ground. And if something prevents you from walking, maybe just open the window and do the same as the above. Notice what is happening with the gremlin when you do so…

·      Have a talk. Some people are afraid to talk to themselves out loud, yet it may just work. Saying to your gremlin I HEAR YOU.

·      This too shall pass. Allow your brain to understand the cycle, the wave are coming and going, and this too shall pass. Meditating while watching waves or fire flames may help even when the gremlin makes a huge presence. And if you are not lucky enough to be in nature, videos of those elements will have similar effects as well.

·      Appreciate what is coming to you, even in the shape of a gremlin. It is far more complicated than it seems, because in those moments all that we already have is non important, is losing its value and the gremlin has the capacity of ignoring the results. Yet we don’t. We can still see the things we do have. It does not have to be violent, just notice inside of you what you do have; even when the gratitude is not taking over, the simple list of accomplishments so far in our lives will create a sense of perspective. Write  down on a paper 5-10 personal accomplishments, and carry it with you. When the gremlin comes stronger just take it out and read it for yourself. You may be surprised by a small smile on your face. That too is who you are.

·      Who am I is not what I feel right now. That is a powerful mantra we may try to adapt. We are not what we feel, we are complex being, and a specific feeling in a specific moment, although so powerful and although so important into our life, it is not our life. It is not who we are. Simply because no one can feel only one  thing or nothing for their entire life. Life is a complex combination of feelings, emotions, thoughts, actions, and so much more. Yet on moments we may feel something that may look like this is, who am I. . You are not your gremlin.

Looking forward to hearing how this works for you. And providing you want to know more about the topic please put your questions/comments/challenges into the comments so I can bring more perspective. This is not a 5 minute read topic, yet it may sometimes take 5 minutes to start doing something about it.

5 questions to check the success of your business

5-Simple-Ways-to-Success

Success! People may look at success from different angles depending on education, experience, values and much more.  When coming to business success there are a few things that may indicate how profitable, value added and sustainable really is your business!

Many strategies have been defined in order to increase business profit, to reduce cost, to take better care of employees! Yet a shift is happening in the way the world is going, growing and progressing; as its changing at the level of people making business themselves; most of the new graduates which are generally called millenniums are not longer looking at the traditional way of doing business and not very much attracted by traditional corporations[1]; it is not longer only about figures; is how sustainable those figures are and what can define success! In this new innovative way of doing business here are my personal beliefs linked to 5 essential questions to ask in order to make a difference:

 

How successful is your team? No matter you are a mid manager in a corporation or a small size/big size business owner your team will define your success! A successful entrepreneur wants to attract the best! The question is why the best shall come and work for them? When your team is successful not only you see it in results and the work environment but they are “radiating”/shining outside the business. Make sure your people are successful; they are your most important capital! You may consider understanding what they think success is, you may consider sharing profit with them, have a team coach to help them grow as a successful team etc. And there are ways to measure it as well!

 

How successful are your clients? This is probably the oldest definition of success in business: you don’t exist if your clients are not buying what you propose; why they buy from you: mostly because they need/want what you propose and they are happy with you. Yet if you work with someone that has no capability of continue buying whatever you are selling, well there will no longer be a business, especially if you depend on that client entirely! Make sure you work with successful clients: how many clients do you have, what are their results, what are their plans for the future, etc?

 

How successful are your stakeholders? How happy is the community around you with what you do? How much additional values your business brings to them? Most of the time businesses focus so much on figures that they forgot what may create their success or their fail: people around them. Have a look at the community, what is their interest, how can you add something to their life, why shall they be happy you are part of their environment?

 

How successful is your footprint, the environmental impact? We talk a lot about environment these days and yet not enough in relation with business success! Some businesses consider they have no direct impact on it, so it s not their core preoccupation; some others that they do enough to balance some of their negative impact; but let s be honest: how sustainable you can be if what you do is not respectful of the world you operate in; and this goes way behind general environment measures; this come within the DNA of the business owner: lead by example, show a different way of doing business with 0 compromise on this one! There is no other way for any success business to be.

 

How successful is your model? This more than anything will define your current and future success! What is that you do that makes a difference? How relevant is what you do and for whom? What is that your business is bringing to the world? What is your value added? New business are created every day, old businesses are still there to provide in a traditional way; look further, think of what is that you can add to this world and before thinking about success, think about your impact first!

 

 

“If I were to just try to follow or pretend I was somebody else, it wouldn’t be the most true and distinctive version of my highest leadership.”

Abby Falik

 

[1] http://www.fastcompany.com/3034268/the-future-of-work/why-millennials-want-to-work-for-themselves

 

 

5 tips to have the best Women’s Day

How-To-Celebrate-Women-this-monthHappy women’s day my dear ladies!

This is a special day for women all over the world. Yet how many of us actually celebrate it? How many of us are in a place where a celebration is really possible?

Today, I took a walk and felt blessed amidst this great spring morning, flowers all over, such a beautiful aroma lingering in the air, birds singing, the perfect blue sky,, just made me feel like Mother Narure is Happy! No money spent, no energy spent only pure enjoyment of life!

And I had deeply thankful thought for the most beautiful women I have in my life and how much I have received from them! If today you feel sad or lonely or simply too busy here are few tips to make this day a day to remember:

My grandma always looks around and observes! If you go for a walk with her she will tell you about a specific flower she is seeing, she will actually go and smell it, she will see a bird looking for food or making its nest, she will tell you to sit with her and watch what is happening! And she will smile! No matter how hard life was for her, she is still able to simply sit and enjoy and smile! That s the best I have learn from her and I m so grateful to have her around!

My mum would dance no matter where, even when she was cooking she was singing and dancing, even when she could not longer properly walked she will dance while sitting on the couch! Music and dancing have been part of my life every since I was born! And I can tell you nothing changes the mood faster than a little music! That s the best gift my mother gave me in addition to her unconditional love!

My dear friend and coach, she was teaching me how to surf the wave of life, she was holding the space for me to express my emotions, she has shown me that even when pain is there and it is inevitable, suffering is optional; so here is the tip, no matter how scary it may look there is always a place to grow and experience, there is always options, there is always someone to guide you if you allow yourself to be vulnerable! We are not wonder women, we are not God, we are simply beautiful amazing women and that s really something to be happy about!

My best teacher: when I was still a teen and was not clear yet about the best choice for my career, I had this beautiful lady teacher! Thanks to her devotion and passion and believe in my capacities I had become the best in my category in a country contest. I was proud but that was not the best part; the best was simply how much I  enjoyed the topic, how much passion she transmitted to me, not only about what she was teaching but also how beautiful teaching is! I had a great career and I own her this! She has taught me the utility of things, the passion in whatever you do and the power of entrusting a very young person in her way to become an adult! Transmit a little of whatever you have learned in life to a young person that is about to start her journey! Giving is the best feeling and it will definitely make your day!

My soul mate, she looks at me with love and genuine care, she holds me and feeds me, she cheers me up when my world is falling apart, she tells me “I m so proud of you, you are an amazing, strong and beautiful woman”, and for some reason I do believe her! Never underestimate the power of a true friendship! There is nothing more valuable than the human connection! Give without expecting anything in return because so many things will simple came back to you! Find a way to simply be with a true lady friend! That’s the best way to enjoy this women day!

Connect and Make a Difference

7 Skills to Building a High-Impact Network

Networking. So many people are stressed, bored or overwhelmed even by the idea of doing networking.

To start with, most people are simply reducing networking to business. They imagine networking as a meeting you go to, pitch yourself and give your business card. Seen like that no wonder is completely stressful and most of all boring. Why shall I even go to a place where I have to hear people pitch me about their business and try to find a way to leave them my business card?

Second, they enter what we call a number game, providing I give let’s say 50 cards I have at least a chance 5 of them will reach out. Have you been to networking events where you found a business card on your chair? Well, you may know what I’m talking about. Wonder what have you thought about that? Have you been intrigued? Have you thought why did I not come up with this idea as well? Or you felt so sorry for someone that was so desperate to go into such approach? At the end of the day, how many times did you call the number on the “seat” card?

And finally, most people go into networking to do accounting. Basically, an exchange of services or favors. I help you with this now it’s your turn to help me with that. I have recommended you or your wife for this job, now it is your turn as I am without a job. And not only this is not as easy to do, like it is not because there was an opening in your company your connection may have had the skills for at the time, that this is likely to happen back when you are looking for another job. But mostly this creates frustration, a sense of “you are not my friend”, judging and removing any chances to grow that relation further.

One of the questions I get asked the most is how did I build such a powerful international network. The quick answer is that I love people and I do love connecting with someone new every day. The truth is that independent of my love for people which is who I am, there are specific skills I have developed over the years in a very genuine way.

Here are my 7 skills and how to develop them to build a high-impact network:

  • Know your net value. When you enter a relationship having value in mind chances are the relation itself will find value and opportunities. It is far easier to bring your value when you know it and trust yourself. We are all unique and we all have our specific set of skills and characteristics that we are naturally good at and we enjoy so much. Find your value first.
  • Manage your energy. Your level of engagement with every person you meet it is determined not only by your interest but also by your energy level. Look for the opportunity to grow that relation instead of judging the person in front of you, quickly putting them into “boxes”.
  • Seek transformation. The key to transformation is trust, trusting that each day it will bring its learnings, trusting that each one in your network it is your teacher and you are the student and they have their best intention for you.
  • Focus on the world. When you enlarge your network without fear of differences and seeking on developing an inclusive environment where everyone is welcome the way they are, chances are that you will get a much broader view on life and business.
  • Become outcome-free. Fulfillment lies in the complete detachment of the outcome and full enjoyment of the connection. This is probably the most revolutionary part of the way I see networking. It is about the connection and not about the result. Not only the results will come but most probably they will open-up roads you have not even imagined; when you reach out to a connection have no back-mind agenda either than the pleasure of exchanging and growing together more than by yourself.
  • Understand recognition. You are the result of what different people brought into your life, their confidence, their knowledge, their belief in you. Nobody is self-made, and the more we are aware the more we appreciate what others bring into our lives. Recognizing publicly the value you have got from people around you and being grateful for their gift not only makes you humble and human, but it does attract more great people to your network as well.
  • Expand your knowledge. The more you listen the more you learn. To receive more from your connection, you may want to ask powerful questions and genuinely listen to the answers. Listen without trying to answer back, but with the only interest of knowing more.

 

Now you may look to the list and ask yourself what this has to do with networking?

Well precisely. When you approach networking from this perspective not only you build a high-impact network but you have those powerful connections in all areas of your personal, family, career, business life.

To go further you may read “Connect and Make a Difference. 7 Skills to Building a High-Impact Network”[1] by Raluca Gomeaja.

 

 

[1] https://www.amazon.fr/Connect-Difference-Building-High-Impact-Network-ebook/dp/B076YM7S6Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1509620778&sr=8-1&keywords=connect+and+make+a+difference

 

3 Overrated Definitions About Friendship

Friendship-article1What’s your own definition? Write a list of five qualities that are important in a friend.

How do you meet friends? How do you build relations? How do you deal with their loss?

Friendship tends to be one of the most important relations in our life; we don’t choose our family, but we choose our friends, right? We may fall out of love with our partner, yet a friend will always be there. So it’s perfectly normal that we put a lot into friendship relations and sometimes it becomes highly emotional.

A recent trip made me think in a completely new way about what friendship is or may/should be. It made me realize that my own definition’s overrated, as well as obsolete. This makes sense as, like most of us, we use a definition that stems from the way we’ve been raised– from our education, family beliefs, competitiveness, etc.

So here was my old definition:

Ø LOYALTY:

One of my top values is loyalty. Lke many of us, I was mistaking loyalty with “no matter what my friend’s doing, I’ll stand by him/her no matter what he/she’s doing to me. I shall take on the burden and be a loyal friend.”

Ø SUPPORT:

Friendship was linked to how much support I’d get from you in times of strife. I was so afraid of not having anyone near me when I would fall, and yet, most of the time, someone’s hand will be there to catch you. Sometimes a stranger, or an angel, invisible (and yet there).

As strange or stressful as it may seem, sometimes we do fall and there’s no one there. Yet those are the times when we grow and we become a better person, able to deeply understand our life purpose.

Ø RECIPROCITY (by keeping an accounting book):

I did that for you, now what’ve you done for me? I offer you this gift, what did you offer me, right?

We tend to look for reciprocity. What if we looked at it less as a mathematical quantitative way, and simply with joy? Maybe a hug’s more important at some point in time than any other gift.

Not all of us have the same way of showing love and care, but the main question remains: did you feel that love and care in whatever gesture your friend has done for you, or do you believe he or she’s not making the effort since they don’t act like you would have?

I asked myself this question: how do you feel when you’re with your friends? Do you feel joy, do you feel compassion, do you feel care? Or do you simply feel angry, judged, insufficient, trying to please them no matter what out of fear of losing them and becoming alone? Are you able to speak the truth? Do you feel guilty, like you let them down?

Be honest, what do you really feel?

So, having said all that, here are my updated Five Characteristics of Friendship:

1. Being Myself

It’s not about how often we get to see each other, it’s the quality time we share together.

I know that I have real friends that I can’t see or speak with as often as I’d want (as we don’t live in the same place), yet when we see each other there’s an immediate connection: I’m home.

2. Enjoying Each Other’s Company

I think this is the most important one for me right now. What do I truly feel when I meet my friend? When I talk with him/her; what do I want to feel? Am I in a secured/compassionate/joyful place? It’s not about making anyone happy, it’s about being happy in your friend’s company.

3. Honesty

Friends can speak with each other from their heart, with no fear and no judgment.

It’s not about the amount of feedback, it’s about how this feedback is given, how are we able to share what’s important for us and for our relation, and why.

4. Genuine Care

This seems so obvious, but it’s about that feeling when someone cares for you from deep down in their heart. Feeling the love they have for you. Feeling the bliss they want for you.

5. Trust

Healthy relations are built on strong foundations, and trust is one of those. Nothing more to say.

The courage of having a real look of your friendships, understanding what they bring to your life or what cost it’s been for you to maintain them, in an emotionally detached way, is the key to having healthy and strong relations.

Have a look and see how this works for you, and no matter how scary it may seem, or how lonely you may feel, you’ll definitely get to realize the freedom that comes when you can be yourself and enjoy it with real friends.

Share this with a friend!

Three steps for a successful start as an entrepreneur

3 steps for a successful start-up.png

Entrepreneurship, most wanted job in the world. Or not? I remember when I was young, I thought that being a business owner must be so difficult and so few people could have access to it. Obviously, with time, I did change my mind, yet my intuition was right in many ways.

A recent talk with an entrepreneur friend highlighted once again what may be the blockages, limitations and difficulties of this role. While listening to him, I wondered why I did not have the same experience.

So here is my answer and the 3 steps for the new entrepreneur in you;

1.    Start with the personal side. Your business is you. Whatever blocks you will block your business. Moreover, whatever life style you want to have, you should build a business that is respectful of your life style.

To my start-up clients, I always say the same thing: your business is as successful as you are.

Here are my 3 tips for the personal side of a successful entrepreneur:

·     Believe in yourself and in your business. Believing in what you want is the first step to achieve it.

·     Find your success formula. What is bringing you energy? What environment, what network, how much sleep or exercise, and so on. Some people may need support to identify this. Reach out.

·     Continue with your education. Education is the biggest investment you can do. And no, there is no such an excuse as, you are so busy, you can’t afford more education.

2.    Identify good business ideas. Most people are looking for the billion dollars ideas, there is nothing wrong with that. It might take a longer time and sometimes forever to start this way.

A different way is by answering these 3 simple questions

·     What is the main problem that I’m solving?

·     Who are my ideal clients and where can I find them?

·     What is it that people say I’m really good at?

You see, most people start a business because they like something. Most of the time they even fall in love with their idea. Other than the fact that the emotional link may prevent you from making the right decision, the ugly truth is that nobody cares of what you love but what they want or need.

3.    Have your whole focus on your business. These are my 5 musts:

·     Grow your business. “We either grow or die” and this is true in business as well. There is nothing wrong on staying small, growth may not necessary be profit wise, but on ideas, services, innovations and so much more.

·     Build yourself a professional team, don’t be cheap on people. How many times do I hear: “I can’t afford to hire people.” Well can you afford not to? And please, stop looking at people as per what they cost you versus how much business and value they create for you.

·     Develop a supported network and create some sounding boards. This is one of the most powerful thing you can do for yourself. An entrepreneur is a lonely place. Look for entrepreneur’s clubs, for people doing similar business, for social media groups that have the same characteristics and issues to address. And if you don’t know where to find them reach out and I l’ll suggest a few depending on your country.

·     Hire more successful people to advice you, mentor you and coach you. Those people have been there already. Trying to fix everything by yourself has two main issue: it takes a long time and it may not work. We all have limitations. We all can grow that far by ourselves. And remember there is no such thing as self-made person. The worst I can see is a consultant who have no consultants for their business, a coach with no coach. This only makes one lose credibility (why shall I buy something you don’t value?). More so, the only thing they have in common: not successful…

·     Know your figures and optimize them all the time. It does not matter how small they look at the beginning make a habit of looking at them at least monthly: how much do I make, how much did it cost me, what is my margin …

Most of all: Be patient, every business takes in average, three years to become profitable. It is a long journey. Yet it is your journey to freedom and reaching out to what matters most to you.